At this point in my life, this quote is for the one person I know best and is my biggest fan at times and my worst enemy most others....myself.  Right now is one of those times in my life where I have to let go and hurl myself into my own destiny.  

I have been searching for teaching positions at different 4 year colleges and universities a lot lately some are close to home while  others are on the west coast.  My mother wants me to stay close to "home", but I feel as if I need to go where ever the wind, or in this case job, takes me.  I know it would be an adjustment and that my daughter will miss everyone around here terribly as will I, but I feel like this might be my time to explore life outside of Harrisburg.  I lived only in Philadelphia for a few years and Italy for 3 months.  There aren't very many options around here to teach studio art courses.  I need to at least try.  For Mollie and me.  We can adjust.  Plus, if it's a good enough school with good benefits perhaps I could teach abroad and Mollie can come with me or we can spend our summers in Harrisburg.  The possibilities are endless.  I just can't be afraid or feel guilty for wanting this for myself.  It isn't just for me it's for my daughter as well.  Her security means everything.  Our roots, hers and mine alone, are strong enough to keep us grounded no matter where we are.  

I have been thinking a lot about this subject lately.  I can't believe that I am about to achieve one of my life long goals.  In a couple of months, I will have my Master in Fine Art.  I am also teaching college level studio art courses.  There are of course more on my list of things I would like to achieve in my life time and hope that God has given me enough time on this earth to accomplish them.
  
One of the things is that I have been saying and thinking about showing my work, but haven't done the research nor have I had the courage to actually do it.  Sure I have been in a few shows and was just recently granted a solo show at a gallery space/used book store in June, but I want more.  Is that selfish and greedy?  I hope I don't come off as such.  I just really would like to sell my work.  I know times are difficult but there are still people out there buying art, selling art & showing art.  I just would like to carve a little niche out for myself in that world.  

I would also like to live a bit more simply.  Simple food, simple home with a little bit of land, and to pay for it all it would be nice to be able to teach in a small college or even a big one.  

The thing is, I know I will achieve these goals in my life.  I now have a reason, a purpose to do it.  She lights my life and I want to make sure I give her all the comfort in life she deserves.

Thank you my precious 6 (almost 7) year old.  

Awakening at 4:45am and lying in bed until 5:30am made my head swarm with thoughts.  Thoughts mostly about my thesis presentation.  There were a few about certain relationships in my life and how healthy they were or not.  All of this is somewhat easy to sort out in my head when I am painting or doing something creative.  Not so much when I am lying in my bed with only my thoughts to keep